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URBANIDAD PDF Imprimir E-mail
Escrito por Luz Divia   

Urbanidad. 1. f. Cortesanía, comedimiento, atención y buen modo. Cortesía. (De cortés). 1. f. Demostración o acto con que se manifiesta la atención, respeto o afecto que tiene alguien a otra persona.

—Diccionario de la Real Academia Española.

Los buenos modos

Si hablamos con nuestros abuelos sobre la forma en que hoy se comporta la gente, seguramente nos dirán: “Los tiempos han cambiado mucho. Ya nadie tiene buenos modales.” En parte, su respuesta tiene razón. En unas cuantas décadas el mundo ha sufrido grandes transformaciones en muchos aspectos, como la economía, la historia, la sociedad y las relaciones humanas. Las personas gozan de mayor autonomía y libertad que en los siglos pasados y eso las ayuda a ser más felices. Sin embargo, a causa de tantos cambios y novedades muchos han olvidado lo importante que es tener un trato amable y correcto con los demás, considerar su importancia como personas y expresarles nuestro respeto en las situaciones diarias.

Observa lo que ocurre en la calle más activa de tu población: la gente va deprisa sin saludarse, todos se quieren ganar el paso, cuando realizan una compra o solicitan un servicio, olvidan decir “por favor” y “gracias”, se empujan para conseguir el primer lugar en la fila y hasta se dicen groserías a gritos por cualquier motivo. Ese desorden también se presenta dentro de las casas cuando los miembros de una familia no toman turnos para hablar, dejan sobras de comida en la mesa y hay ropa sucia fuera de su lugar. Esos descuidos expresan desatención por los demás y hacen que la vida diaria se vuelva desagradable y difícil dentro y fuera de casa.

El valor de la urbanidadmodales

Reflexiona: Detalles para todos los días.

En siglos anteriores se escribían libros enteros sobre los buenos y los malos modales. Sus reglas eran tantas y tan complicadas que la gente se confundía y vivía temerosa de cometer faltas de educación. Hoy todo es mucho más sencillo y se resume en dos palabras: cuidado y cortesía. El cuidado consiste en considerar nuestra dignidad como personas y la dignidad de las demás. Eso significa mantener un excelente aspecto personal, procurar que nuestra ropa esté limpia, que nuestro lenguaje sea correcto y cordial. También consiste en dedicar atención a los aspectos más comunes de conducta en la casa y la escuela: comer con limpieza, esperar nuestro turno en la fila, saludar a maestros y compañeros y mantener nuestras cosas en orden. No se trata de que haga las cosas a fuerzas, sino de que demuestres a los demás que tienes consideración por ellos y que esperas una consideración semejante. Ser amable es tener pequeñas expresiones de amor para que la gente te ame.

La cortesía consiste en dar un poco más de lo que marcan nuestras obligaciones para que la vida sea más grata: cederle el paso a otras personas, ofrecerle nuestro lugar a un anciano, decir “con permiso” cuando nos cruzamos en el camino de alguien, ofrecerle una sonrisa a los demás y resolver con paciencia y corrección los pequeños problemas que se presentan todos los días cuando convivimos en la sala de la casa, la estación del metro o el centro deportivo. Cada uno de estos pequeños detalles nos ayuda a hacer del mundo una gran casa ordenada y limpia en la que todos nos sentiremos a gusto. La oportunidad de embellecer esa casa está en tus manos. Empieza hoy mismo, por favor.

Mini-relato: Juan el sucio.

A un niño le decían “Juan el Sucio” porque dejaba todo fuera de su lugar y metía los dedos a la mermelada. Un día el Hada Ordenada entró a su cuarto y le dijo: “Voy a arreglarlo; mientras, ve al jardín”. Ahí halló a un cerdito que lo saludó: “¡Hermano!”. “No soy tu hermano” contestó Juan. “¡Claro que sí! Mírate las manos y la ropa. Ven al lodo a jugar conmigo” le propuso. “¡No!”, dijo Juan. Entonces llegó el Hada: “Tu cuarto está limpio, así debes estar tú desde ahora. ¿Quieres ir con el cerdito o venir conmigo?” “¡Contigo!” gritó Juan, y se fue volando con ella.


Problemas para pensar.

Imagina estas situaciones y describe la forma en que actuarías:

  • Vas sentado en el bus y sube una señora con un bebé. No hay asientos libres…
  • Te invitan a comer a casa de un amigo y el guisado que te sirven te da asco…
  • Tienes ganas de hacer pipí pero el baño de la casa está ocupado…
  • En tu fiesta de cumpleaños se presenta un amigo que no te lleva regalo…
  • Vas con tu mamá al súper y se te antoja tomarte un refresco mientras ella compra…
  • Ya se le acabó el sabor al chicle, quieres escupirlo pero no hay ceniceros cerca…
  • Se acumuló la basura en tu casa, pero el camión no pasó hoy…

Recuerda que no hay reglas fijas para estos casos. Si no sabes qué hacer en alguno de ellos pide su opinión a tus padres o tus maestros. Por último haz un dibujo de la situación que te haya parecido más curiosa, en el que aparezcas tú, actuando de la forma que se te ocurrió.

La urbanidad en símbolos

En épocas pasadas, cuando las personas solían usar sombrero, una de las reglas básicas de urbanidad era descubrirse la cabeza al saludar a otra persona o al entrar a un lugar. La imagen de esa escena simboliza hoy los actos de cortesía que tenemos con los demás.

Lo que dicen los libros cortesia

“ Los secretos de la urbanidad son no subrayar nada en demasía, no colmar ninguna medida, tener facilidad en el trato, amabilidad y soltura al manejar cualquier tema y saber concentrar una mezcla de discreción y finura en la sonrisa.”

—Godofredo Iommi, La urbanidad como forma simbólica

Un laboratorio para la urbanidad

Los buenos modales deben estar presentes en cada situación de tu vida diaria. Cada una de éstas tiene sus propias reglas, por ejemplo, permanecer en silencio durante un concierto, una proyección o una conferencia. Sin embargo, existen “reglas de oro” que aplican en todas las circunstancias. Éstas son algunas de ellas:


Procura que tu aspecto sea siempre limpio y cuidadoso.

No te muerdas las uñas ni te arranques los pellejitos de las manos.

Evita rascarte cuando estés enfrente de otras personas.

Saluda al entrar a un lugar y despídete al salir de él.

No eructes, bosteces o te suenes la nariz en público.

  • Evita hacer preguntas indiscretas del tipo ¿por qué estás tan gordo? o ¿cuánto ganas?
  • Cede el paso a las otras personas en la calle y lugares públicos.
  • No hagas ruido al comer, usa con cuidado la servilleta y los cubiertos.
  • Evita interrumpir a los demás cuando están hablando.
  • Jamás emplees groserías o malas palabras en tu vocabulario.


"La base de la urbanidad, de la buena educación, es moral: no hagas a otro lo que no quieras que te hagan a ti". Amando de Miguel

"Hasta en una declaración de guerra deben observarse las reglas de urbanidad".  Otto von Bismarck

"Muchas personas están demasiado educadas para hablar con la boca llena, pero no se preocupan por hacerlo con la cabeza hueca". Orson Welles

"Si examináramos con imparcialidad los modales de diferentes naciones, quizá descubriéramos que no hay pueblo tan rudo que no posea algunas reglas de urbanidad, ni ninguno tan cortés que no conserve algunos vestigios de rudeza." Franklin

"El hombre que se muestra solícito y cortés con un extranjero demuestra que es ciudadano del mundo." Francis Bacon

"Los buenos modales se consiguen a base de pequeños sacrificios.” Emerson

"Los buenos modales son, para las sociedades en particular, lo que la buena moral para la sociedad en general: su base y su seguridad."  Lord Chesterfield

"Los buenos modales sirven de adorno al conocimiento y le abren paso a través del mundo."  Lord Chesterfield

"La naturaleza de los hombres es siempre la misma; lo que les diferencia son sus hábitos." Confucio


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